The Office | Waiting Game

Exams are over and I'm not nervous but neither am I confident. Honestly, I don't know what to feel about it. If I pass, it's a sign to stay. If I didn't then maybe it's a sign to rest from work for a bit and focus on my review without phone calls and movies and all the stuffs I did in between.
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I have a good paying permanent job that now requires me to get a Masters Degree and I'll lose that job if I don't get to finish it within the given time frame, that's until September of this year. ​

​The others who are in probation like I am are transferring in our college to graduate, no offense, but I don't want to do that.

I don't want my bosses to be my professors. Seriously, who wants that?

​How can I openly write my paper and express my opinion base on my job if that includes scrutinizing and emphasizing their incompetencies and then presenting it to the whole class, people I'm working with, and my professor, my boss. I'm already feeling suffocated for working twelve hours, four times a week for the past three years of my life. I don't want to spend another day with them.
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God! I need a different environment and people to be around me. People whose hobby is anything but to gossip in the office at 8am in the morning, lunch or whenever they find time to talk. I kinda miss the busy industry because of those kinds of people. I know they get their work done and all but most times I just wish, our office will be more like an "OFFICE" than it is like a wet market specially during lunch time when they are most noisy although they see people trying to get a power nap.
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Other than making my world smaller than it already is, I worked hard for it I'd probably choose to leave my job and study than to regret not exerting every effort I could give just to pass.
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I'm waiting for my brother to finish, I'll save up and pay my debt, then resign. This is actually Plan A if I don't make it the first time. But I'm also considering Plan B. That is to stay, take my time and review slowly until I'm ready to take the exam. Then, if I still don't get a full time partner at work by that time, I'll leave.
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There's still one week before the results come out. I'm not expecting much. I'm just praying that whatever the result may be, it's what's best for me, my family and my career.

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-Aisiah Ezekyel